Musical Muses #4 // Friday fever.

  It's Friday and I can finally unwind. It's one of the things I look forward to most throughout the week. Self-diagnosed or not, it's indisputable that I have Friday fever - and it calls for downright groovy tunes. I won't settle for less. These couple of tracks are ones I've loyally had on replay. They coincidentally seem to match the irrepressible nature of my swift, adolescent emotions. Anywho, I have just the fix for all you electronic disco enthusiasts out there. So search no more, my friends.

  Congratulations! Your feverish disco dream has just been fulfilled - or just mine, at least. And now I have a confession: Another reason I've been compelled to share music is because it's my wild card. By channelling all my emotions into a playlist, I bear the fruits of my labour and somehow feel more steadfast. How cynical of me, as you may think. But really, you should try it; it's therapeutic in my book. In the past 24 hours, I've been on the threshold of tears to utmost glee, and experiencing manic bouts of uncontrollable vigour. (I'll blame hormones for getting the better of me. Darn it hormones.)

  'Think for yourself. You have to be willing to cut against the grain and get the distance from your peer groups. And not only that, but you have to have a habitual vision of greatness.' - Olympic Ayres

  Coming right back to these songs, however, have steered me right on track for the weekend. So my advice is to keep good music close at all times.



  It's come to my attention that my 'delete' button on my MacBook is broken, and has been for a while. My dear friend Reneta empathised with me on the same situation. She jokingly remarked, 'Seems like we've made too many mistakes.' However, I think she made an excellent point. So I think it's only appropriate now for me to get personal and elaborate.
  Humans make mistakes. And I happen to make a lot of them. (Or I might just be really harsh on myself, and others.) See, mistakes and regrets are the top two interchangeable things I often resent myself for. I start to think, Wasn't it a right decision at the time, the best one I could make with both my heart and mind? And if it really was, why am I doubting it now?

  It's that unescapable time of year again. I miss you collectively. Behind this facade of mine, I long for the old days. Our inseparable history. It becomes a fraction more speculative each time I recall it. I was convinced it was worth all the mistakes, that they would always patch us back together. I dreamt of us as the pair whom had it all under our wing.

  Then it hit me. You were a felicitous fraud. I began to see you in a new light, one I couldn't shake off. It was like re-reading treasured pages and having them scribbled on and torn and burnt. You were no longer bona fide. A tinge of hurt still lingers. Did I leave you the way you were completely, did I see the truth? Because at the time, I had faith in leaving. Yet I am always tentative - one of my weak points. Nostalgia continues to haunt. Your face entangled with mine somewhere far away and hazy. The peace; we were almost back to where we were. But I could only hold onto the lily-white flakes as they fell into place.
  Yet sometimes, these undergone lessons can slip from between our fingers and we eventually forgive. There is nothing wrong with forgiveness - don't get me wrong, but people who have hurt you previously can exploit forgiveness. Some people really are not worth it. But some, as you ponder, may be. I suppose it's always trial and error, but we should never fall back into the cycle that will continue to harm us again and again. Don't resent me, I had to look out for myself.

  Sometimes we need to delete people or things out of our life. It can be as simple as extracting the problem. Such an option at our fingertips bears responsibility. We need to weigh our options up intricately, and roll with the better judgement. It's easy to get carried away, especially if you're not at fault. But we need to learn to function on our own. Take time to yourself and contemplate it. If surely and slowly, it all fades away, then it's gone. Call it a grand scheme, if you shall - to atone for these peeled possessions.

  Yet, what if you're meant to stay - for good this time? Much like anyone else, I'm still trying to find an answer.



  On Saturday, we all celebrated Yuxian's sixteenth milestone. It was an entire afternoon dedicated to nothing but fun. The polaroids are proof! (A group of us had gifted to her a polaroid camera, specifically the Fujifilm Instax Mini 8 in pink. I trust that she'll be utilising it for more exceptional occasions to come.) Here are a couple of photos to rekindle the weekend memories.
  May I just mention that the birthday girl was unbelievably stunning? A fond, insightful soul to share my life and dreams with - I wish nothing more than for her to enjoy herself. A special thanks to her for hosting such a splendid day. She's more than deserving of a birthday berry smoothie, quirky printed socks, rose-gold rings, and all the love. It's been a while since parties have been this cordial, really. The six hours at hers were of limitless warm vibes. (Minus the mass ice bucket challenge - even though I didn't participate.) Also, September is none other than CAKE MONTH. I'm thrilled, as you can tell.
All these girls whom managed to make the day even more special. // Happy sweet sixteenth, Yuxian!


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