Arcadia.

  It's currently 1.38am. The storm, she brews the darkness within. The density thickening under my skin. Of shadows and hollow spaces akin. She said I was always waiting for a miracle. Always wishing for more and a little less.

  Random past-midnight confessions, why not? #1: I suck at physics; its academic matter transforms my brain into mush. #2 I just cannot fathom the notion of study. #3: The weeks have been a string of both good and bad days. Some days nothing negative can get to me, and some days I tear up at the most minor, meaningless things. #4: Adolescence is so overrated - these years don't need to be the best of my life. Sure, it's been fun and eye-opening, but for one, I don't know why inadequacy always sneaks up on me. #5: The end of 2014 is on the tip of my tongue yet the near conclusion leaves me clueless.

Thursday // Supported friends in the public speaking competition. I didn't end up being a finalist, but I just had to be a spectator to eight of my grade's most astounding speakers. Every speech was positively bone-chilling, in the best way possible. I'm so proud of all my friends whom made it through, and of Lauren who won the competition. (She's one of the realest girls I've met this term. Her 16th birthday celebration a week ago is as depicted above.)

Friday // Attended the ever-nocturnal youth group. Seeing Alena was definitely the main highlight of the night. I can't thank her enough for remaining by my side - both literally and figuratively. I hadn't a clue that she'd turn out to mean so much to me, the first time I met her. It was an instantaneous connection. If only the world held more wholehearted, selfless people like her.

Saturday // Catch-up at Rebekah's. I got to catch up with more friends, most of which I hadn't properly seen for months. I actually had fun, unlike the convoy of pretense nowadays. The limited numbers must have been reason why. (Quality over quantity, folks.) I caught up with the good old primary school posse, along with Daniela and Rebekah. Certainly a bit more of an uplifting day, compared to former weekend traditions.

  Oh, dear me. Apologies if I bored anyone with this mere update, an influx of thoughts were encouraged. I've just been worn and torn. The rain has settled in once again, but surprisingly I welcome its stay. On most occasions, it's a dreaded mouthful. This time, it reminds me I'm not the only one that's benumbed. I occupy myself with warmth as I down every comforting cup's contents.

  And ultimately, a reminder to commence the week: Look out not only for others, but also for yourself.

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